ne sachant que faire, j’éclate de rire

i have to come to terms with the fact that i will never be satisfied with all five of these things at once, ever.

that’s what my blog title means: ne sachant que faire, j’éclate de rire. i came across it in a never-to-be-gotten-to chapter in a french textbook in high school, and i thought that it perfectly encapsulated the essence of who i am: the joviality of my personality, my adoration of the act of laughing, but also the awkward nervousness and unsureness about myself.

speaking of french, i have been considering getting a tattoo of something in french. something about art. this is merely a little zygote of a tattoo idea at this point, too small to even tell anyone about, but it will come to me eventually. i have four tattoos, but they are all merely decorative; three of them are on my back and i can’t even see them. so this next one i want to get just for me. the idea i have right now is getting the words faire l’art on my right wrist so that i see it constantly: make art. i need a nagging reminder because i simply have been doing very little art, and for the love of god, my art is the one thing that i can do better than any other human being on the face of the earth, and every day that goes by where i am not utilizing my creative gift is a waste. and frankly, i am very good at doing what i tell myself to do in writing, so maybe this will help.

of course, would such a tattoo then open the doors to my wanting to get other important reminders permanently inked upon my skin? go to the gym? clean bathroom? cat litter/milk/butter?

………

i tried this blogging-thing a few months ago, per the loving and persistent (read: nagging) requests of my friends E and A, and just at the point where i actually got into it, i forgot my password and login name and every other shred of pertinent information, and now that half-assed attempt at my blogging is floating off in cyberspace, unmanned.

i’m going to send E and A my password details this time, just in case…